Letter to an Alcoholic

*sigh*

Dear Alcholic Roomie,

I want you to leave now. NOW. I don't care about where you go, about how much money you don't have, about the fact that you have no friends, or any of the other reasons you gave me for not being able to leave last night.

I have absolutely NO ROOM IN MY HEART for any kind of understanding or sympathy. Last week I did, but these weekend you ruined it by:

1. Having a party with a group of people who AREN'T your friends, who STOLE shit from all of us, and who conveniently live AROUND THE BLOCK from me.

You are an absolute idiot of a degree greater than I am capable of imagining. And I'm being nice to say that. I suppose I should mention that your drinking WILL destroy your life, but I suspect somewhere in the recesses of your mind you´re aware of that.

You seem like a good person, but I'm not renting the room to you so I can have a loser to take care of OR tolerate. You might consider going back to your family, so they can fuss over you, or just giving up drinking. 'Cause you can't have your cake and eat it too, I can guarantee you that.

I've never had to be this tough with anyone in my life. It doesn't feel so bad, but it's a shame I have to act like I can't stand you to get you to feel uncomfortable enough to leave. It's a shame every time I've seen you in the past two days I have to have the same conversation with you:

"When are you leaving? Why not? I don't care. Your problems don't matter to me. I want you to leave now. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, get out of my house!"

Don't you feel shitty enough to leave yet? Or do I have to change the locks?

Hoping to see you for the very last time tonight,

Victoria

Ha! And you guys thought Why I Hate My Flatemate was bad!